I can say with confidence, that I am a connoisseur of cats.. I know almost everything there is to know about them apart from how to preform surgery or diagnose sickness (except FeLV I can tell an FeLV positive cat from a FeLV negative cat any day.)

badly.

Why can't we all just get along?

Peace love and light,

Ashley

Last night I told a friend of mine who is from Connecticut that I felt Autumn. She looked at me oddly. Being from a northern state, Autumn to her is a burst of color and smell. The time before the first snow. The darkened hues of the colors of the rainbow dripping from trees and sky. She asked me. How do you feel Autumn. There is nothing that suggests it at all. I begged to disagree. I was born and raised in Florida. Though we only have two dominant seasons. (Summer and Hurricane) That does not mean the change in energy does not flow through those who are open to it. I feel Autumn like I feel love or happiness. It's the soft wind that tickles my shoulders. It's a cool feeling relieving us Floridians of the baking heat we are accustomed to in the summer monthes. It's the very slight change in scenery and action. People become more aware more logical during this season. The passion of summer no longer clouds their judgement. The earth as we know it is no longer gasping for water. The ocean no longer lays flat. The birds are migrating to our lands for the winter and we open our hearts to their song. Autumn as I have expressed before.. Is my favorite time of year. Today, after meditation, I basked in the feeling. I laid rest in my pines for an afternoon nap and soaked up the soft sunlight that is not beating its drums on Florida, but tapping to the rhythem of the dying year. My trees spoke to me. They said Ashley, take a rest with us, the year is not yet over but it's time to take it slow. Autumn in Florida may not be a symphony of visual things like the states above us. Our's is just a wonderful feeling. One of the feelings I most crave. Here's wishing my gaians a most happy Autumn. My blessings of a bounitiful winter are with you. Love, Light, and Peace, Ashley

It means, to me, to know that there is something greater than fear

me... naturally. :P I don't know actually. Alot of you on Gaia are pretty sane but I'm not sure if I'm aloud to count you all as people I "know" or people I converse with occasionally. As much as I love all of you.. I don't really know you all as well as I'd like to! But everyone around me is just.. bleh.. like.. are you serious?  :P but if they weren't insane I wouldn't love them and I'm sure they question my sanity from time to time.

While working at my the fast food place that gives me money. :P
I met Jose. Jose on my very first day at this job, inquired about my necklace and what it ment. I explained quite briefly that it is a pentacle, it represents the sacred femanine amoung other things. He shrugged and walked away.

Today however he mentioned to our manager, that he was reading books about astral projection. I light up, mostly at my job they talk about the daily drama and things of that sort (I don't participate because I don't like gossip nor do I spend enough time at the job or know any of the people enough to gossip) But this, this was my area of some expertise (yeah okay :P) I asked him immediatly what he had learned. We spoke for a bit about reiki and I was amazed how interested everyone was to hear my talk about the wonderful things meditation had done for me.

The light I spread at my little job today was amazing. My manager opened up to me about how she wanted to be more than a fast food resturaunt manager and how much (much to everyones surprise, she said) she loved to read. She said she had been playing with the thought of opening up her own bookstore. I was marveled as she shared her dreams of one day writing.

Jose' however, intrigued me the most. Jose', you see is from a world of people who laugh at the idea of spirituality. Who believe metaphysical practices to be heathen practice and would sooner make fun of a person for their higher consiousness than sit and listen. You might say that I judged Jose' and he, like most people tend to do,  surprised me in such a beautiful way.

My whole break I shared my small bits of things I've learned. He listened ever so carefully. Spoke back to me. And said the most beautiful things a person can ever hear. "You are the first person I've ever met that understands me" I smiled at this and told him. Their are more of people like us than you think. I invited him to meditation night. He's going to come over so I can read his tarot :P

Today, at this job that I really really don't intend on keeping for to long showed so much more light than I could have ever imagined, because I piped up and let my light shine. I connected with a couple people I never thought I would have connected with. I felt their light and I feel so blessed that they shared it with me.

I can't wait to watch Jose' find his own path. I can't wait to see him blossom into the beautiful person I know he is deep inside.

I can't wait to see Meeka open her own bookstore, I know she has the drive and the head to do it. And in a few years I hope that I am snuggling in a blanket with a cup of tea reading her book.

I feel soooo blessed. What happened at my job today was so very beautiful. I'm so glad I got to experience it.

Love light and peace,
Ashley

Home is the sigh of relief I give when I get in from a long days work. Home is the smell of gramma's cooking. Home is a cool ocean breeze welcoming me from a long absence on a warm day in November. Home is a where my heart lays and my head rests. My home is from the beaches of Fort Pierce to the Pines of my back yard and everything in between. 

What confuses me most, amoung other things, is why we all can't celebrate our diversity. We laugh love smile and cry the same. Why can we not realize that we are all the same when it comes down to it.. we are all the same. Skin color, beliefs, lifestyles none of these things matter when it comes down to the bare essentials. We are all on this earth... togather, We are all so beautiful.. in one way or another. Can we not make the most of it while we are here.. Can we not stare in wonder and awe at an individual, than look in bewilderment and fear at what a generalized race is. Where's the love people.. where's the love? (It's here on Gaia, thats where it is.. I love you guys <3)

<3 light and peace,
Ashley

I set out to write this blog as I posted a few ideas that I've learned so far on my journey in Dreams of Artists. But I must admit that I totally forgot what I was going to say.

I remember reading my tarot in the early on stages of my interest in divination. I have pulled the same card in almost all of my readings weither I did them or they were read by some one else. The fool card was ever present. Now upon my first experience with the fool card I thought what any young person would think. I am no fool! I never really exposed myself to the significance to this beautiful card up untill a few monthes ago. I had my tarot read for by my aunt, I inquired about a very important thing missing in my life. Again the fool card was pulled. I stared at my grenden tarot card so rich with symbology. I saw exactly what I was. I saw a young person, armed with a napsack and a walking staff, standing at the edge of a cliff, staring out across the star pricked distance his eyes filled with wonder and question.

Could this card be more accurate... Is this not who I am. The fool, armed with the essentials of mind and body ready to venture out into world searching for their purpose or how to put their purpose to use.

I will forever play the fool I expect. I take great pleasure and solace in knowing this.. In knowing that above all I am a student of the great world. I am a pupil of the great mother and father who teach all through ourselves and others. In each moment in each breathe I take, there is something to be learned, something to be in awe of.. an idea hidden deep or shallow in the complex workings of our miraculous exsistance.

I don't expect to know everything in my lifetime. On the contrary to my teenage years, when I wished to know everything there is to know. The surge of information that I pleaded for and was given to me.. and my own pondering and inquisition with out first understanding of my own life nearly drove me mad.

I relish my position as pupil though I know some day I will be a teacher but I will never stop learning from my great parents and my brothers and sisters alike.

I greet this journey with an open mind and a wondering smile. My path is paved and the first steps to living.. really living.. this great life have already been taken.. Wish me luck on my great journey. I wish you luck on yours and remember.. in one way or another...

Everybody plays the fool.

<3
Ashley

Um.. very intensely... sometimes too intensely.. working on it though.. :)

to remind everyone, especially myself, that life is beatiful and you are a lovely gift to the world.

The air is crisp and cool, the sun shine hugged our bodies softly. Zwitter and I snuggled in the grass and enjoyed the pure perfection of a lovely Floridian autumn day. The leaves lay all around us from the maple, oak and pines. Birds flew patterns in the divine blue sky as a lazy cloud enjoyed the beauty of just being.

Today I have no homework. Today my room is clean and my laundry is done. Today my mom and gramma arn't bickering. Today I have no worries. Today the sky reflects my soul and the earth reflects my heart. Today I am simply alive.

I am going to keep today folded up and placed in the back of my heart, so that on days when things are less than perfect. I can unwrap it like a present and remember the sun and the clouds and the sky and my cat and my self on the most perfect day of the year. (I also took pictures just in case my memory fails me :P )

Thank you great Goddess and great God for giving me this day. I am so blessed to have it.

in love, light and peace,
Ashley


p.s. to end this perfect day, zwitter ate a squirrel.. :P I guess that was the end to his perfect day.

I was just going over Di's Blog about narcissism... 

I am a narcissist, is it wrong that I don't see this as a bad thing?
My whole family.. if there is one thing we have in common.. just one.. it is that we all think we are the best, the prettiest, the smartest. We all feel the need to pass judgement on each other.. so I must ask.. Is my narcissism hereditary?

Probably not, but I do believe I've learned it from them but not only them.. it's part of me.  I am as vain as vain can be. I would drown trying to kiss myself if mirrors did not exsist. I LOVE me.. I love the way I talk, I love the way I act, write,draw,laugh, smile, I even love how I cry. I love almost everything about me. I want other people to LOVE me. Is this wrong? I don't let it get in the way of my life. I don't let it reign over the things that need bettering or changing.  

I don't think it's wrong to be in love with yourself or like attention. I just think it is reason to worry if  I was clouded, craved attention and not accept the fact that I am not perfect.

I think my biggest flaw is that I have high expectations for people because I want them to feel what I feel and this is where the fact that everyone is where they are ment to be in that exact moment and it is NOT my place to force what is working for me on them. But I never boasted perfection.. just narcissim.. and does narcissism not stem from insecurity. I know it does for me. I feel the need to love myself because I fear no one else will.


I could be wrong about all of this.. My narcissistic brain could making up excuses.

My sister says to me all the time, "I'm not concieted I'm convinced." I think that is about true on my part as well.. it's only a matter of time you start believing what people tell you over and over.. if its positive or negative.

So in following Di's example, this is me, I want you to love me like I love me, see what I see feel what I feel because I love it so much. I want you to judge me and make sure you understand just what you are getting when you become a friend of mine. And again... because I am who I am... and thats all that I am.. for now.. but as always.. I'm working on it. 

I <3 me.... i mean you :P  

Narcissistically yours,
Ashley

(P.s. I'm going to read this 5 times the first two to make sure I like what I'm reading and the next three because.. well.. My vanity is my vainity is my vainity :p )

not in the least bit. I always feel like I don't have the time.. but I do make time for my cats.. They always get at least a few hours of my day so I can snuggle and play with them.. Even if it's before bed. Also I try to steal away to my pines for some much needed meditation if even for 10 minutes.