Judge but never pass judgement.

When a loved one gets out of the hospital or something. I've learned to appreciate release dates alot  since we've had some big blows to our family in 2007. It's like a sigh of relief when a family gets to come home. Like.. everything should be okay. Even though we are not out of the woods yet, it's still good to know that the doctors believe there is enough strength to have them home.

:)

Alot of young girls I meet on Gaia or at my school, remind me of how I was at 18 19 and 20.. I'm only 21 but a day can make a difference.. think about what can happen in 6 monthes.

Hope you'll watch these.. and remember the love. 

infinatly loving, 
Ashley

Cogito ergo sum. I think there for I am. Que ergo sum? Why am I?

Here.. I'll just show you.

Couple other videos that leave me breathless can be found with this one in my blog

Also, lots of people have been leaving me breathless. Watching them do what it in their nature to do. Love.
I love you.. that leaves me breathless too.
I love you.

<3,
Ashley

Times they are a changin

So.. I'm about to go clean, take a shower, then meditate.



I feel there are somethings that I need to question. Somethings that I need answers to.

Since I've entertained the idea that I might be indigo, I have been taken to wild and new ideas that have made the world open up to me in a way It never has.

I see things more clearer than I ever have. I see things for what they are. (for the most part)

I can feel, see, hear, smell, the earth as she changes. I can see us changing with her. Society seems a little less.. cold. A little more open. But then again thats only my experience.

Ever since the idea that I might be as different from the rest of the world, as I always thought I was has lead me to the idea of our evoulution.

2012 and the Mayan Calender. The end of the world as we know it. The world we know is going to stop soon. The world we know is going to exsist no longer and the new world we are preparing for is going to take place.

I have to ask, what happens to those who do not prepare enough, what happens to those who don't prepare at all. Is it something I'm going to have to wait to see what happens. I don't want anyone I love to be left behind? I do not want to be left behind.
My crown chakra aches when I think to much on these things.

Will those of us disappear who are ready to become one with the new world? Will we be unveiwable to the naked eye of an 'unevolved' human?

I can feel myself changing. Moving away from me and towards we.
There are alot of things holding me back right now.
My anger gets the best of me sometimes.
I feel like I have a blockage that I desperately need to get through before I begin this ascension.
I believe that blockage is my own duality. My own need to have seperate be equal parts of myself? This blockage is set by me. I really want to overcome it but I just don't understand how.

My epic meditation happened yesterday. I am hungry for more of what I felt. I want to be at one with everything. I feel the love.

I have felt like this before. Along time ago before I grew up a little. Felt so overwelmed with wanting.. so near but so far. I'm waiting for something to happen. I am waiting for my mission to be come clear. I don't want to be left here in this world that I tire of but love so much. The duality of this world tries me. The duality of myself tries me.

I am so tired.
I feel blind in my path now.
It was so clear a few monthes ago.
I've hit a place that is dark(now like.. negativity, like.. blind). The next step is hidden in the darkness. I don't know where I'm going. I'm reaching out for a guiding light. 
My intuition tells me I will find the guilding light here. 
Untill then I stumble blindly feeling my way through the darkness. Hopeful as ever. 

The next step will be the right one. I need a little help taking it though. 
Please. 

infinite love, 
Ashley

 

In my last contemplative blog.
I confessed a dead spot.

Happily I am on my way again.

I was so afraid that I would be left behind in this great transition. I looked inward for console (as well as outward) and found it in both places.

Today while listening to some beautiful music and knitting. I had a realization.

I am not waiting for my body to awaken. It is doing it as we speak. I am dropping bad habits left and right, feeling pulled towards more natural things.

For instance. It's not to say that quiting smoking wasn't hard for me, but it was easier than everyone made it out to be.

Yes I've had the occasional slip up, but for the most part I quit and never looked back.

Now the pull to cut meat out of my diet is stronger than ever (although my family is less than happy about this) I feel wonderful that I am not eating our friends.

To make th transition smooth.. I'm going to start pescotarian (lacto ovo as well) and move from there.

My mind is clearer than ever and my spirits are high!!!

This is my body awakening.. I have nothing to be afraid of. :)

thanks to everyone who supported me.
Much love,
Ashley

When I'm in my pines.
Or
When I'm under the covers with zwitter (my cat) snuggled next to me and we are dozing

Well at this moment.. definently Jack Johnson - Upside down

(please, don't think I'm depressed.. I'm not depressed. I'm not going to kill myself or anything.. .
I've read some where once that there is a difference between being depressed and in agony. Depression happens when nothing really matter. Agony instills when something matters.. so much. Just a side not to this poem.)

I've waited here for you for so long.

Breathing in the memory of times we've spent togather.

Something quickens in my heart when your voice echoes in my ears.

I can't wait to see you again, my friend.

I can't wait to see you walk away again.

I can't wait to see you turn your back to me.

I can't wait to scrape my knees falling for you again.

I can't wait for you to never see.

You words to me like scratches on the insides of my wrists.

Your goodbyes like the gashes that stop my breathe.

Your love would be a tourniquet to the blood we've spilled.

I can't bring myself to pretend that what I feel is nothing more

Than an illusion never realized.

I can't wait to dream of you again.

I can't wait to watch you kiss me.

I can't wait to hear my name on your lips.

I can't wait for you arms around me.

I can't wait... I can't wait..

I'm fragile to your voice, my friend.

So fragile to your ways.

I'm crystal around your neck, my friend.

I shattered to peices for you.
 everyday.

getting matrixed.